A Ranking Of Some Of The Worst Ways To Die In 'Star Wars'

Monday, 07 August 2017, 07:56:52 AM. 'Choked via Skype.'

A lot of people die in the “Star Wars” movies. Literally BILLIONS. From all the citizens on Alderaan to the people on both Death Stars, and that’s just the original trilogy. Let’s not forget Starkiller Base and the planets it wiped out in “The Force Awakens.”

There are also a lot of people killed by lightsabers. But let’s be real. If you’re going to go out in a “Star Wars” movie, the lightsaber is about the coolest way. 

This list is about the worst ways to die in a “Star Wars” movie. The embarrassing ways. The unlucky ways. The suuuuuuper painful ways.

11. Being shot first by Han Solo

Tough way to go. You think you’ve got the legendary Han Solo cornered, and before you’ve had a chance to shoot, your forehead is kissing the table. Even George Lucas’ post-release editing couldn’t save you. Still, it’s Han Solo, so, still a tiny bit cool.

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10. Thrown from your speeder bike into a massive tree trunk

I don’t know, man. Just ouch.

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9. Crushed in a garbage masher

Oof, maybe only second to the terrible things going through your head when getting crushed in a giant garbage compactor are all the things going through your nose.

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8. Rancor food

Because of the warmer temperatures of Tatooine and the quicker death (you hope), being eaten while trying to escape the Rancor would be slightly more enjoyable than being Wampa food (see below).

7. Wampa food

Seeing as how you’re hanging upside-down, alive and freezing, it’s a good bet that this death will not be painless. The wampa will probably play with its food ― aka, you. You’re like a frozen Jedi TV dinner.

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6. Thrown into the center of the Death Star

If you simply fell accidentally into the center of the moon-sized space station you yourself created, that would be bad, but being hurled into it by the apprentice you also created? That’s a failure on multiple levels. 

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5. Blown up with the Death Star

Not the greatest death, but probably relatively quick. The most painful thing is getting forgotten in the list of names of the other people who were also there. 

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4. Blown up with a DIFFERENT Death Star

“There are rebels attacking the second Death Star, but we’re totally safe,” you tell your family. “This Death Star is bigger, more powerful and there’s no way the Rebel Alliance will blow our station up again.” Hopefully, you didn’t narrowly escape the first Death Star destruction only to later be transferred to this one. Eek. 


3. Being choked to death via Skype

It’s fair to say that a majority of those serving in the Galactic Empire’s military during “The Empire Strikes Back” were not big believers in the Force.

So when Admiral Ozzel is choked to death by Darth Vader over the his failure in the Hoth system, it probably appeared to his crew like he was choking on a piece of food or something. Which isn’t a very cool death at all. 

Even more embarrassing for Ozzel is that Darth Vader didn’t even do it in person. He choked him out via Skype.

2. Digested by a sarlacc

You may be eaten in seconds, but neurotoxins in the sarlacc immobilize you as you’re digested ― painfully and while conscious ― over the period of a thousand years. Bright side? Your lifespan is only about a hundred years.

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1. Primitive teddy bears using two giant tree trunks to crush you inside a metal container

The scene goes by so quick, perhaps making the brutality of this demise all the more extreme. If you’re a lucky AT-ST operator, you die instantly. However, judging from the low trajectory of the impact, it’s more likely that the two crushed imperial soldiers survived long enough to see the Ewoks pry open the cockpit and harvest their bodies for dinner. 

Thank goodness your Imperial Academy buddies weren’t here to see you taken down by Ewoks.

a-ranking-of-some-of-the-worst-ways-to-die-in--and-39;star-wars-and-39; photo 8 Lucasfilm

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